The Power of Vulnerability in Remote Work: How to Build Authentic Connections Online
I’ve witnessed it time and time again: we are our own worst enemy. Personally, I tend to overthink. What will the person in front of me think if I behave this way? What did my colleague really mean by that comment? The answer is usually the same: nothing. Because of the Spotlight Effect, we assume others scrutinize our every move, when in reality, theyâre too busy with their own thoughts to notice.
Now, zoom in on a remote work setting. Communication is harder, interactions are filtered through screens, and silences often feel heavier than they should. When we are physically distant, our minds fill in the gaps with assumptions, often leading to misunderstandings, imposter syndrome, and isolation.
But what if embracing vulnerability could deepen trust, enhance teamwork, and make remote work feel less lonely?
Understanding Vulnerability in a Remote Work Context
Vulnerability is often misunderstood. Many associate it with weakness or oversharing, but it is actually about authenticity. It is the courage to say, “I don’t have all the answers,” or “I need help with this task.” In a remote work environment, vulnerability is even more important because it removes the walls that technology and distance put between people.
Now, remote professionals often experience feelings of isolation, self-doubt, and anxiety about how they are perceived. Without the casual interactions of an office setting, every message, email, or video call can feel like a performance. The fear of seeming unprofessional or not being taken seriously stops many from sharing their struggles or asking for support.
Imagine the Following Scenario
Sarah is a remote marketing manager who has always prided herself on her independence. She loves the flexibility of remote work, but over time, she begins to feel a disconnect from her team. She hesitates before asking questions in meetings, fearing sheâll look incompetent. She second-guesses her Slack messages, worrying theyâll be misinterpreted. She avoids admitting when sheâs overwhelmed, assuming others are handling their workloads just fine.
One day, during a team check-in, her manager casually mentions, “Honestly, Iâve been struggling to stay motivated this week working from home. You know how it is, some days are harder than others.” Sarah is stunned. If even her manager, someone she respects, feels this way, maybe sheâs not alone. Encouraged, she responds, “I feel the same way. Itâs been tough staying connected to everyone. Does anyone have strategies that help?”
That simple moment of openness shifts the conversation. Her teammates chime in, sharing their own experiences. Some discuss how they schedule casual video calls to replace office banter. Others admit theyâve felt the same isolation. By the end of the meeting, Sarah feels lighter. The virtual walls between her and her team donât seem as high anymore.
The Psychological and Professional Benefits of Vulnerability
The scenario is fictional, but it shows beautifully the benefits that being vulnerable can introduce to the remote work setting:
(1) Trust Grows When People Are Honest: Trust isnât built through perfectly polished interactions. It grows when people show up as they are. When leaders and team members admit struggles, others feel safe doing the same. A simple âI donât knowâ or âI made a mistakeâ can open the door for deeper, more meaningful communication.
(2) Collaboration Improves When People Stop Pretending: Remote workers often feel pressure to appear competent at all times. But the best collaborations happen when people ask for help, share ideas freely, and arenât afraid to say, “I donât understand. Can someone explain?” Instead of struggling in silence, they work together to solve problems faster.
(3) Well-Being Flourishes When People Feel Safe: Pretending everything is fine when it isnât is exhausting. Suppressing emotions leads to stress and burnout. When vulnerability is welcomed, people feel supported and engaged. Knowing that others have similar struggles creates a sense of belonging, which is key for mental well-being.
How to Foster Vulnerability in Remote Work
Sounds good? Understanding the benefits is easy enough, but how can we actually foster and create those benefits in a remote work team?
1. Create Space for Honest Conversations: Instead of starting meetings with a generic “How is everyone?” (which often leads to “Good, thanks”), try, “What has been challenging for you this week?” or “Whatâs something youâve learned recently?” Thoughtful prompts lead to real conversations.
2. Share Imperfections and Lessons Learned: Mistakes happen, and owning them makes the workplace feel safer for others to do the same. If a leader says, “I made a mistake on that report, hereâs what I learned,” it sets a tone of honesty and growth.
3. Lead by Example: Leaders shape culture. If a manager openly shares their challenges, employees feel encouraged to do the same. Saying, “I struggle with work-life balance too, hereâs what helps me” can create a ripple effect.
4. Use More Expressive Communication: Remote work doesnât mean every interaction has to be dry and transactional. Voice notes, emojis, or even quick check-ins like “Hey, I appreciate you!” help humanize digital conversations.
Pay Attention to the Following Barriers
Finally, even with those strategies at hand you want to be of the barriers some remote worker have to overcome in order to introduce vulnerability at their workplace. Ignoring those could lead to more harm than good. Keep them in mind when trying to set an example for your team or introducing the concept of vulnerability in the remote work setting:
1. The Fear of Judgment: Itâs natural to worry about how others will perceive you. But research shows that people respect leaders and colleagues more when they are authentic. Vulnerability doesnât make you look weak. It makes you relatable and trustworthy.
2. Navigating Cultural Differences: Openness varies across cultures. Some teams might be more reserved, while others encourage direct emotional expression. The key is to be mindful of these differences while still fostering a supportive environment where people feel comfortable sharing in their own way.
3. Balancing Openness with Professionalism: Vulnerability doesnât mean sharing every personal detail. Itâs about choosing authenticity over perfection. If youâre struggling with a project, you donât have to say, “Iâm completely overwhelmed and lost.” Instead, you can say, “Iâm finding this challenging… Does anyone have insights that might help?”
Conclusion
Remote work can feel isolating, but it doesnât have to be. The more people embrace vulnerability, the stronger their connections become. Trust grows, collaboration improves, and work feels more meaningful.
Being vulnerable doesnât mean being weak. It means being real. And in remote work, thatâs what creates true success.
Would love to hear from you. Have you ever experienced a moment where being vulnerable improved your work relationships? Letâs continue the conversation in the comments.
Further Readings
- Brown, B. (2018). Dare to lead: Brave work. Tough conversations. Whole hearts. Random House.
Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350â383.
Gilovich, T., Medvec, V. H., & Savitsky, K. (2000). The spotlight effect in social judgment: An egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one’s own actions and appearance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 211â222.
Xiao, Y., Becerik-Gerber, B., Lucas, G., & Roll, S. C. (2021). Impacts of Working From Home During COVID-19 Pandemic on Physical and Mental Well-Being of Office Workstation Users. Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine, 63(3), 181â190.